Are you ready to make room for an ongoing dialogue in regard to the rubbish on your “soles”? This refuse represents the mud from our lifetime of journeys. It’s where we have been and what we have experienced. It’s our thoughts and actions, our emotions and concerns. These tracks follow us and often affect our traction, stride, and stability as we move through life and connect with others.

Is it possible to realize the soil on our soles before we cross the threshold? Maybe we will remember that we have been somewhere that has left dirt on our soles. Perhaps it would be most appropriate for us to remove our shoes before entering another’s space or at least openly acknowledge that we might track something inside.

The truth is that we are all flawed people; sometimes we are completely unaware and other times we just don’t care what we bring into another’s space. We track it in and then blame the homeowner for having white rugs in their home.

It’s an Open Door

There are times we ask our guests to remove their shoes before entering our home. Oftentimes, it’s because we don’t want anything tracked inside that will stain our sanctuaries. Interestingly enough, there are other times when we freely and knowingly invite others into our homes with filthy shoes on their feet.

We are keenly aware when something will taint our space – we can see it and sometimes we are able to smell it. Yet, we invite guests in thinking that it will be okay. We believe we are capable of cleaning up whatever damage someone might leave in the wake of their presence.  

Is it possible that the guest has never been invited into a space with such want and acceptance of their presence? We want guests to feel seen and loved. We give the benefit of the doubt that they are simply doing what they’ve always done, even though they are now in someone else’s home.

We want to be gracious in that we are acutely aware that we too have arrived at the doors of others with encrusted soles tethered to our feet. At times, a clean pair of plush socks or a tool to remove the mud has been kindly offered before entering. It made us feel welcomed and wanted, not shamed and guilted. We want to extend the same feeling to others.

There is always hope that we can awaken possibility and freedom if more concern is placed in filling a space with love and comfort rather than focusing on the residue of the visit. Welcome guests will look around and feel safe owning the tracks they have left. This shows a true desire to value people over pathology.

The same dilemma of dirty soles accompanies emotional spaces. We often assume that those we connect with have the awareness, skillfulness, and desire to remove their soiled shoes or possess the bravery to acknowledge what they possibly have on their soles. They vividly remember where they have been, and they know they have not cleaned the bottoms of their shoes. Instead, they step boldly into the special, beautiful and treasured spaces of other’s emotional arenas with mounds of debris on the bottom of their soles. They track it in and leave, sometimes even leaving remnants of figurative clothing from unexamined emotional dowries as a bonus gift.

It’s Time to Own the Truth

This analogy fits every single relational health aspect of our lives. Our lack of self-awareness or discomfort that accompanies owning the truth of one’s self cakes our soles in immobilizing ways. It prevents the easy glide to reconciliation. It takes seconds to turn a relationship around by saying, “I love you,” “I apologize,” “Can we talk?” “I don’t want to be at odds with you,” or “I miss you,” but these are often missed opportunities because of ego, pride, or fear of vulnerability. We often don’t trust that spaces are safe, so we sabotage them with debris. We are strong, yet fragile, in so many ways. No one is an exception to this truth.

Let’s Sit and Talk

On this blog, we will keep it at a “rocking chair” level. We will allow time for all to sit and ponder. We will look down the road and imagine what is possible when it comes to living with and loving others well.

I created this blog to be a safe and respectful space. There will be as many warm, life affirming blankets; smiles; over-the-keyboard hugs; and gut-busting laughs as possible. We will also speak in truth-filled ways that support transformation, growth, and individual value in being seen and heard. We will make space for consideration of others, perspective taking, and dream igniting. 

I will do my best to attend to this space with the same boundaries of mercy and grace that have been extended to me infinitely in my life. It has been a game changer and produced a latitude of resilience, understanding, freedom, and grace on my part. I am greatly flawed and on a continual learning journey of refinement. Though painful at times, I have come to greatly appreciate and revere the value of the lesson.

The number of people who have walked before me, reached back, looked out for me, taken my hand, and made room for me is overwhelming and humbling. You will meet many of them as bloggers and podcast guests on this site. The great wisdom and diversity of the group will prevail in each of our dialogues. I will try to leave you with emotional value in exchange for your precious time.

My desire is for you to not walk alone in the quest to be the best version of yourself. Shenanigans abound, it is not an easy journey, but it can hold significant moments that simply take your breath away.

We will dwell on how to move amongst one another in a way that drives connection, listens for understanding, extends grace, seeks to forgive, holds one another accountable through life affirming communication skills, and births possibility.

It is my sincerest honor to meet you. Come and sit on the porch with me, remove your boots so heavily laden with wherever you have been walking through, and visit for a while. I am listening…